Posted by
Bungaloe Bill on Thursday, September 07, 2006 9:33:05 PM
It began a month ago in
Collierville, Tenn. Then it spread to
Bullhead City, Ariz. It was the beginning an onslaught that would last several weeks, as innocent, unsuspecting low-man-in-the-newsroom reporters were forced to do...THE DREADED 'SLOW DOWN IN SCHOOL ZONES BECAUSE SCHOOLS ARE STARTING AGAIN" STORY!
Usually the writer, like
this one in Orlando, or this
one in Knoxville, or
this one in Wichita Falls, Texas, is too embarrassed to use a byline. But Chloe White, also in Knoxville,
drew the short straw and had to put her name on it. So did
Janet Jacobs in Corsicana, Texas. Likewise
Jim Tiffin in Gallup, N.M, while Cara Sinclair
got stuck in Hagerstown, Md.
Some poor shmoe in
in Lafayette, La., had to write one...but then again,
so did his boss!
Perky Christine Nelson of Tyler, Texas, was probably less perky when she found out she had to do one--that had her picture on it!--especially when she found out that
over at the town newspaper, the writer got to take his or her name off it.
Lacie Morrison of Mineral Wells, Texas, was probably unstrung, but the story gave
Ryan Wolf of Harlingen, Texas, a chance to howl.
Not every editor is so cruel: In Denison, Texas, they just
ran the state police news release verbatim. Looks like
they did in Waco, too. In Salinas, Calif., they just
stuck it in the police blotter, but in Oakland
they have a policeman-columnist, so naturally HE wrote it!
But whether you're in
Mishawaka, Ind., or
Purcell, Okla. or
Horseheads, N.Y., or
Moses Lake, Wash., or
Golden, British Columbia (where one mardy "lower case" bacigalupo got the call), or
Woburn, Mass. (where Megg "two gs" Crook cranked it out) the slow down story has to get written!
Excelsior!!